We are all on a journey towards wholeness. One of the initial stages of that journey is to integrate qualities that we may not accept or like about ourselves. These qualities were named as our 'shadow' by Carl Jung. When we don't realize we have these qualities we tend to see them in others. When we see them in others we react with dislike or even hatred because we have not accepted these aspects of ourselves. We judge the other person while maintaining a sense of our own virtue. This is a type of ego defense mechanism. Ken Wilbur wrote a great book called 'No Boundaries'. The boundaries are divisions in our being at different levels:
Ego=shadow+ persona (what we do accept about ourself, our mask to the world).
The separation between body and mind is another division.

The first step towards wholeness is to allow, or have the courage, to accept that we may have a shadow and to at least not have a divided ego between shadow and persona.
The clues to what is in our shadow are the qualities we react to in others. For example if I think I could never tell a lie then I will 'hate' liars. 
Jesus gave us some wise psychological advice: 'Judge not lest you be judged'. Often when we are unaware of our shadow,  life has a way of bringing people to us that have the exact qualities that we don't accept and therefore tend to project onto others. We may judge these qualities but usually find ourselves behaving in a similar way at some stage when our own shadow surfaces and can no longer be ignored. Then the criticism we directed to others is painfully directed towards ourselves. 

 (to be continued)